i am lonely

last week my sis came home..we have a talk..maybe she want to know what happen to me all this while..im just saying im ok..there's nothing to worry about..she kept telling me that its been so soon that our mom died..and it is a big loss..its been a while i never talk about my mom..it doesnt seems rite talking about a person dat already gone..n all of that conversation make me feel how lonely i am..but to make me ok..she always said dat im still lucky cuz i got my sis and brother to take care of me..reality i dont need people to take care of me..but to hear what my heart trying to say..aida said im a person who like to keep my dark secret..i cannot simply share what i felt..not everyone understand what i feel..i cannot share what i feel with my others siblings..they just experience the same..i used to distract my self by liking someone else..but that someone else doesnt think im good enough,im used to like my friend but i think i noe which one does he like now,im used to tell everything to my bestfriend..i dont think she recognise me anymore..im used to be a nice warm hearted..now im a very sarcastic kind of person who doesnt care what people feel..im used to have a friend which know whats wrong or rite..they just gone without a trace..i really want to get out from dis situation..truly,im depend on friend..but when my friend turn me off..i dont noe where i should start my life again..

p/s- i really wanna talk to u about what i felt lately..i dont want our friendship just gone like dat..we build to long..i do missing u..im sorry for being a coward for not telling u the truth